The Diary
by playboydojo
Summary: Starfire gives Raven a diary to write in, and Raven learns a little about life. Very belated update.
1. The Diary

  
Continuity sucks. If something doesn't quite match up with what happened in the animated show, my answer is "That never happened," okay? Okay. Further, although I'm reading the transcripts now, I'm still unable to watch the show in it's animated glory, so my fics diverge from sometime after Season 2, although this one sorta parallels Season 3 at points, okay? Okay. Now, feel free to tell me what sucks, and I'll try to correct it. I kind of play up Raven's mysticism and demonic heritage, but don't worry: it doesn't really get in the way of the story. Also, take none of the mythology mentioned for granted because I twisted it all to fit my own ends. Okay? Okay. 

Disclaimer: No claim to Teen Titans or anything related to it. I wrote the story, but I really don't have claim over that either. At least lemme know when you pilfer it, okay? Okay.

This is ongoing--the first of about five. The second chapter should be up in about two weeks, maybe sooner if I can actually manage to own a computer of my own.

**The Diary**

"Oh, how nice," Raven blinked, flipping thought the leather-bound book. It was a deep purple, nearly black; the pages were blank and the cover was nondescript, with no title or name. She closed one eye, trying to think. Several possibilities came to mind: Sekhmet, Bast's lioness cleric would write her anthologies in milk, which, when burned by fire or mysticism would appear on the seemingly blank pages. The cults of Mounikhia would occasionally curse their texts rendering them invisible to the uninitiated. Margaret of the Hidden Face would hide her writing under false sheets of vellum. But where would Starfire find such works? "Um...whose diary is this?"(1)

"It is yours," Starfire answered, her expression clearly saying she suddenly doubted her friends ability to comprehend the simplest concepts. She folded her arms across her chest and looked down the hall. "I hereby gift it to you."

Raven returned the look, "Where did you get it?"

"The store. Have you not encountered a log before? It is for you to record in."

For _Raven_ to write in? She was a fairly advanced adept, but still nowhere near the level to write anything appreciatively informative in her own texts. Besides, her own specialty in the arts was of such a dangerous nature, no one had written of them in eons--one never knew in whose hands the information would land. "What could I possibly write about?"

Now Starfire was sure Raven had been hit in the head or something. "You write about your day, " she said slowly, as if explaining to a child, an idiot, or Beast Boy.

Raven blinked. Write about her day? "Um...what does that do?"

Starfire blinked back. "Nothing."

"Hn." Raven looked at the diary dubiously. Maybe it was a Tameranian ritual...

"You do not like the gift?"

"Oh, it's nice," came the hurried reply. The first cardinal rule of Titan Tower was that you never hurt Star's feelings. She was easily hurt and impossible to console once she got started. The last such incident, caused by a random barb of Raven's, was only resolved, ten hours later, when the entire team ate a huge bowl of appropriately-named "Pudding of Sadness" or some such crap. "I just...I don't...it's nice..." she finished lamely.

And then Star hugged her. Seriously. The girl was touched in the head, or something.

(oooo)

It had been two hours already, and the page was still blank.

You write about your day, Starfire had told her, and Raven had the impression that it would be a simple task to perform. But now, as she attempted it, she was stricken by the abject meaningless-ness of it. Write what about her day? Surely this wasn't a play-by-play of where she went, what she ate, and how she discovered tapioca didn't agree with her physiology? She'd seen written accounts, journals, before, but these were the testimonials of people with something important to impart--what did Raven have to say? What would it mean when she was no longer even bones? The idea that she should justify herself and her life with this book was daunting now that she didn't even know how to do so.

So for the past hour she had been pacing--not a habit of hers. The quiet swish of of her cloak swirling around her ankles followed her as she traced and retraced a path in the center of her room; her steps muffled by the combination of her soft shoes and the thick carpet under her. Sometime your environs were unsuited for writing, so she nervously readjusted various trinkets lying atop her desktop, knowing that she was merely fidgeting. It was her favorite time of day, and the setting sun's light barely filtered through the heavy curtains, bringing a dull glow to her otherwise dark room. The fierce statue of Brynhildr guarded the darkest corner of the room; adjacent to that, the giant wolf spider which prowled the room as she slept. All was safe--so why did she feel so uncomfortable just now?

Raven sighed, which was also something she didn't do often. She didn't want to disappoint her teammate. Behind her, the ticking of the four-eye clock of Shaitan (one of her father's many many names), reminded her of the passing time. She spared a glance at an old photo of the team, sans Raven (she wasn't fond of photography, being deathly afraid that she wouldn't show up in them), thinking how Starfire had a habit of asking too much of her. Looking at the photo, just then, her thoughts went elsewhere. She wasn't in it, of course. The fifth person, in her stead, was Terra.

_xx/xx/xxxx_

_I don't care what Beast Boy says_, she suddenly wrote. _Terra was a monster. I'll never forgive her..._

The writing continued, unbidden. The venom poured forth for twenty minutes, two pages, until Raven was sleepy, her hand was cramped, and her throat was choked with tears. She stared at the pages staring back at her, wondering distractedly where they came from. She couldn't show Starfire this. The alien would just have to trust that Raven was writing and appreciated the gift, and hopefully Star would forget it ever existed.

At some point during the writing, the clock had malfunctioned, her walnut wardrobe had distorted, the wood twisting out of shape. Testing the door, Raven found that the door held. She pursed her lips, considering. It was fine; better to leave it than to try to fix it. On her knees, she rummaged through the folded clothes she never wore and pulled out her mirror. Going to sleep with her mind in such a state was asking for trouble.

(oooo)

In the morning she still felt pretty much like crap. Not in a psychic sense so much as physically. A sort of muggy sense without any real tell-tale symptoms to diagnose. Her stomach didn't hurt, but she felt as if she would vomit if she tried to eat anything more substantial than tea. A quick glance at the calendar told her there was nothing for it. She did have an unusually late night, pacing about, and then that writing outburst and spending half the night consulting a void, searching for a manifested source to her unexplainable anger to no avail.

Leaving her bed unmade for the moment, she half-walked half-stumbled into the washroom (the girls each had their own, the boys shared one that Robin complained no one ever cleaned) and set the dimmer lights very low. Remnants of last night's headache still lurked and she wondered if a quick shower would be safer with her feeling ill, or would taking the longer bath be more rewarding. She didn't feel dizzy or too nauseous, better to shower and have to put together a nostrum for her mild symptoms.

Running the water and letting it heat up, Raven muttered a few syllables and drew a symbol into the air and the air wavered until her reflection appeared before her (lacking normal mirrors, of course). Looked worse than she felt, certainly. Her eyes were a bit dullish, and the skin under them was puffy and discolored. Her hair was limp and stuck to her forehead from sweat she didn't feel. Because of a stupid book from Starfire. Nice.

The shower was enough, though and perhaps she'd have some saltines with tea. By the time she had dressed and wrapped herself in a fresh cloak, the symptoms had dulled and her mood lifted minutely. And that was fortunate, for that was about when there was a pounding on her door and the heavy thumping of what could only be Cyborg running off. It could be a stupid game or it could be serious. Not chancing it, she steeled herself for the worst (stupid game) and followed the racket outside the hall. She could do this. She felt okay. Actually, deep down, even, she was...happy.

(oooo)

Cyborg was kicking Beast Boy's green butt, if he did say so himself.

"I can't believe this..." BB whined after the thirteenth loss in a row. He always won at Street Fighter--what happened?

"Believe it, salad-head!" Cyborg taunted, turning his head to see who was walking by. "You two don't want to stay and watch me slaughter this kid?" He called out as Starfire and Raven left the lounge area.

"No, but I do appreciate your offer, Friend Cyborg," she refused. "It is getting late: perhaps you should take care not to compete in the street fighting until sunrise again?"

"Yeah, I'll be done with this soon," Cyborg waved them goodnight. It was a full second before he realized and ran into the hall after the two.

The hall was dimly lit only by ambient light from the lounge and the girls were bathed in the soft blue of Cyborg's circuitry, throwing off colors to bizarre effect on Star. "Is there trouble, Friend?"

Cyborg didn't answer immediately, giving Raven a suspicious once-over. Finally he muttered, "Nothing. It's just...I thought...nothing." Sparing her another odd-glance before going back for one more game.

Resuming their walk, Starfire's hand found the panel that would turn on the lights for this section of the hall. "I do not think I've ever seen you in pink before, Friend Raven. The color suits you."

"Thank you; you're pretty cute yourself."

Tossing her head, Starfire waved her hair behind her shoulder, "Ah, you must be in a pleasant mood today, Friend. May I assume it was my gift?"

Raven smiled, "Ha. Yeah, I got some things, off my chest, alright. Don't tell me that, though."

Starfire didn't know what that meant, but that was nothing unusual. Turns of phrase were still quite strange to her--especially "turn of phrase."

Stopping at the entrance to her room, she gestured for Starfire to follow her.

(oooo)

Raven herself worked at trying to forget about the wretched diary--and failed somewhat--until she retired to her room for the day. "Your idea is completely asinine, Beast Boy."

Beast Boy was adamant about getting a moped, but never had time for a job. The answer, he figured, was to scheme someone else's money. Of course, that probably wouldn't be the words he'd choose. He made a disgusted noise and waved off her opinion while speeding up the pace of his steps to keep her from escaping. "I'm just saying," the youngest Titan tried to explain, "this Titan stuff is expensive. Why not make, like, public Titan stock for, like Bill Gates to invest in and--"

Because there'd be no profit for investors?" Raven pointed out, reaching her door and finding it unlocked. She had totally forgotten about that with the condiment fight in the hall this morning. Life with boys...

"--like, charge people for saving their lives?" Beast Boy finished.

Not bothering to even dignify that with a reply, Raven was content to just stare at her teammate severely until he slunk away, muttering that girls knew nothing about money. Heaving a long-suffering sigh, she stepped into her room, finding an oblivious Starfire stretched out on her bed reading that damn journal.

"Um, wow. If this isn't the mother of all invasions," Rae snapped, making the alien startle. It wasn't true: BB and Cy once sneaked into an allegorical manifestation of her mind, but Raven didn't feel the violent fury then as she did now. "Star, what the hell?"

Star, for her part, managed to look afraid, confused, and bewildered at once, "W-what?"

_She didn't even know what she did_!, Raven ranted internally. Her rage was quickly mounting beyond her control, and of all the techniques to ebb it, she went with the most mundane and satisfying. She picked up the nearest book and hurled it at the other girl.

Like a shot, Starfire flew off the bed, and Dante Alighieri's Commedia bounced impotently off the bed and fell open-faced on the floor. "Raven..." she whined, looking a lot like a reprimanded puppy.

"Shut up! Have you ever once been invited in here? And here you are reading that damn...Get out, Star!"

Starfire blinked, still confused, "I-I just--Raven, I do not--"

"Are you deaf?" She interrupted. Raven reached for another book to throw and Star finally got the message and scurried from the room.

Immediately, the young mage's rage crested and was replaced by shame and embarrassment. How could Star have read that? What a heel Raven was, the poor girl didn't even get what she did wrong and--by YHWH, she threw a book at her!

Tears coursing down her face, Rae spent the rest of the night huddled in a corner, trying to get a hold of herself; the grinning mask of Trigon and the agitated wolf spider keeping their silent vigil.

_xx/xx/xxxx_

_If there's anyone worse than Terra,though, it's definitely myself..._

(1)Sekhmet, in reality, was not Bast's cleric. She was Upper Egypt's war goddess. Bast was Lower Egypt's war goddess. I abused the association in a fit of creativity. Suffice to say that in this little fictional world, Raven's right and people are wrong, because who would know more about the history of magics? In Mounikhia, there was a cult to the Greek goddess Artemis, not to someone named Mounikhia.


	2. The Photo Album

**The Photo Album**

Raven spent the entirety of the next day in her room, seeking her center. It wasn't all that unusual, being more volatile than the other Titans as she was--when she didn't respond to BB's breakfast call they shrugged it off as Raven being Raven.

It wasn't until about six that evening that someone came knocking at her door. It was Starfire, looking particularly pensive. She was holding some over-sized book in her arms.

"Star..." Raven trailed off. She hated apologies. They were always embarrassing and inadequate. Maybe allowing yourself to feel embarrassed and inadequate was the point, but she infinitely preferred Beast Boy's method of just pretending the offense never happened. "Star, I--"

"I have something for you!" the orange girl interrupted with false joviality. With an awkward shrug, Raven stepped aside to let the girl in. Focusing far too intently on the task of sitting in the middle of the floor and opening her scrap book, she pointed out the photos in that same forced tone, "This is a photographic record of our celebration after we reclaimed the Tower from HAEYP."

"Right. See...Star..."

"And this was taken when we reconnoitered into Friend Beast Boy's room during his slumber and applied cosmetics to his face!"

"Uh-huh," Raven ignored her. Where was Star going with this? "Star, how much of that journal did you read? See I, uh, I didn't..."

"And this is Terra with her head cut off!"

"Because I wasn't really--Wait; what?" Sure enough the next two pages were of the group, including Terra. In them, the geomancer had been clearly cut--or sometimes torn--out and tapped back in at some later date. There was Terra and Beast Boy sharing a pizza (Beast Boy having a strange, purplish tint to his cheeks) her face and hair was floating disconnected slightly above her shoulders like a helium balloon about to make an escape. There was another of most of the team engaging in some sort of sport (volleyball, perhaps), and again Terra's head was at some strange, disjointed angle between her upraised arms. Another was a copy of the group pic sitting on Raven's desk; Terra and Star; Terra doing karaoke (when did this happen?); Terra and Beast Boy getting caught playing Seven Minutes in Heaven (Beast Boy was in one corner twiddling his thumbs, Terra was reading _Uncanny X-Men_). She was decapitated or torn out completely and re-fitted in every single one.

"Star..." Raven blinked trying to absorb this new absurdity. "You...did this?"

"I was angry," Star turned a page and now they were looking at a collection of sketches of various animals the alien had encountered. "I was mad at her, but she was not here to be mad at."

The witch said nothing; her brow lowered and she pursed her lips trying to figure what it was the other girl was trying to say. Although it was only photographs, the message was clear, and clearly wasn't Star. Was Trigon's influence spreading? "So you cut her face."

Starfire nodded, her green glistening with the tears that threatened to fall. She sniffed once and Raven mentally kicked herself. She hated this kind of stuff. She always managed to blunder into other people's feelings in one gauche manner or another. But Star went on, "I got over it. But I had to be angry to get over it, and she wasn't _here_, Raven."

_What the hell does this have to do with me?_, Raven wondered glumly. This heart-to-heart stuff was Cyborg's thing. They sat there for a while as Star slowly turned through the scrap book: pressed flowers, photos, written blurbs on human behavior, and an endless supply of photos Robin (there were other Titans too...). Finally, Raven tried again, " You...put her back in though."

Ah. A half-smile this time, so perhaps that was the right thing to say. "I got over it. You shall get over it, Raven. It is okay."

She started at that. "I'm not sure I know what you mean," she said, although the furtive glance at that damn diary said otherwise.

"Nothing, Raven. It is okay."

"I--I don't--"

"It is okay."

_xx/xx/xxxx  
Sometimes I forget Starfire people aren't the two-dimensional characters they pretend at...For all my observation I don't know the Titans at all. I wonder why. Incidentally, I came across a bizarre use for belladonna involving spiritual-puppetry..._

(oooo)

It was early the next day when a sleepy-looking Beast Boy passed her in the hall. He mumbled something resembling _G'mornin', Rae_, and stumbled his way to the gym for his two-mile run. Raven side-stepped him and continued to hasten in the direction of Starfire's room, the shoebox hidden away in the depths of her heavy night-cloak. Arriving at the door, she gave it a weak, tentative knock and waited thirty seconds before deciding that Star wasn't there and she should dash back to her own room before she made a fool of herself. Just as she turned the door opened.

"Ah. It is truly a glorious morning, Friend Raven, is it not?"

"Uh...right. Good morning. I...I um..." She should have rehearsed this. Instead of explaining, she simply opened the box, choosing not to look at Star as she did so.

It was a box of photos. Raven never cared for them, but Beast Boy had always given her prints anyway. "There's, um...pictures of everyone...I'm sure."

Starfire did that thing where her eyes got all dewy. "Pi-pictures of Terra, you mean?" she sniffled.

"...I suppose," she admitted.

"Ah. Many thanks, Friend." Star hugged her again, which was probably a good sign.

(oooo)

In the middle of the night there was another pounding at Starfire's door. If this is Beast Boy, I shall thrash him, she told herself. But, upon opening the door she found Raven on the other side, in a bit of an agitated state. "Is...something wrong, Friend?" she asked, wiping the sleep from her eyes and stifling a yawn.

"No, nothing wrong; it's--can't you feel it?" Raven practically bounced in place. "Come on--we're going to the roof." Waiting for an answer she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. The girl stared at Star with an almost manic expression; a faint glow reflecting from somewhere behind her eyes like a cat.

Star narrowed her own eyes at the sight. "Are you the real Raven, this time?" she asked, poking the other girl, as if she might be a holograph.

"What are you talking about?" Without waiting for an answer, Raven turned and headed down the corridor. "Come on," she gestured with one hand. "We'll miss it."

On the roof Star supposed by the position of the moon that it was fairly deep into night--about one in the morning perhaps. Other than that, there was nothing to see. "It is raining," she observed, taking care to avoid any puddles. She had heard the rain earlier of course, but it hadn't occurred to her until now to put something on her feet.

"It's drizzling," Raven corrected, walking out the door and heading for the center of roof. With a wave of the hand, a semi-transparent sphere of black surrounded her to keep her from the rain. Starfire ran after her--Raven may as well keep them both dry.

"It is cold and it is raining," she complained, hugging herself and stomping in place to keep warm--at least until the water splashed up onto her. Apparently Raven wasn't shielding them from the cold roof and puddles. Of course not--Raven had on shoes. "What are we doing here?" Stare grumbled.

"It's drizzling," Raven repeated. "In about three seconds it'll be raining. Haven't had a cloudburst in Jump in three years."

"RAVEN!" Star shouted in an admonishing tone. "What is going--by Freklar's beard!"

Even as she spoke the clouds opened up and heavy sheet after sheet of fat raindrops feel from the sky in such thick waves she could barely see anything else and the deafening sound of so many drops hitting every thing everywhere was akin to thunder. "The sea is falling from the sky!" she observed with wonder.

"A cloudburst," Raven agreed, "extreme rainfall, and sometimes a little hail from very high clouds, sometimes with tops above 15 kilometers. it'll only last a few minutes."

"This is amazing!"

Raven nodded her agreement, although Starfire wasn't looking in her direction. They continued to silently watch the intense rainfall for a few moments before Raven spoke again. "You don't meditate with me any more." It was simple statement, not accusation.

"We no longer shop together, either," Starfire agreed.

Raven nodded at that. She could tolerate shopping, but not enough for Starfire's tastes, and Star's interest in meditation was quite casual. The two were at an impasse for lack of common interest, or perhaps lack of diversity; lack of effort. That was when she recalled something she'd seen in Starfire's photo album and hit upon an idea. "I'm going shopping tomorrow actually--not to the mall," Raven quickly amended, seeing Star's expression. "But I think you'll be interested."

_xx/xx/xxxx  
Made some stops by the horticulture nurseries--only bought half the items on my list. Starfire seemed particularly enthusiastic about baby's breath and _Calopogon _orchids. She says her name in_ _Tameranian is_ Koriand'r. _After that, I had to show her the spice her name sounds like..._

(oooo)

Meditating was next to impossible what with Star staring at her the past hour. The girl had latched onto her in that famous way of hers and showed up at Raven's door every spare minute she had this past week. It would end soon: even now Star was fidgeting, gazing longingly at all the strange objects that were Serious Business and Not For Touching. When she sighed for the umpteenth time Raven felt she had to either amuse the girl or strangle her.

"Want your future read?"

That was how she discovered that casting bones mystified the alien girl...

"Ah! Again, again!"

"Right...about your sister then?" Raven said scooping the light bird bones, and checking the pattern of dust for any marred sections.

"Marriage!" was Starfire's answer. Of course.

Raven pursed her lips, lightly juggling the small bones like dice and giving then a practice throw. "With something like this, it's far more effective to ask the bones about a specific pairing--"

Starfire was silent a moment, then fidgeted, moving from a kneeling position to shift her weight onto her hip. Raven didn't move; just sat there frowning to the pattern on the floor.

"By your reaction, I judge," Starfire tried to contain her obvious euphoria, " that does not occur often?"

Raven spared her a brief glance, a ghost of a smile flickering across her expression, knowing Star's effort to remain solemn for once. Her eyes drifted back down. "No," she finally answered. "Never."

Another quiet minute stretched out marked only by the steady ticking of a clock Starfire could never find. Finally, Raven stood and walked away from the circle "I'll have to research this in my grimoires," She glanced over her shoulder, her expression almost amused. "What are you going to do?"

"I shall be wed, of course!" Star replied jumping to her feet. Apparently the solemn moment had passed. It was hard to tell with Raven.

Raven laughed, a surprisingly throaty, gravelly melody. The alien girl had this zeal for...everything that had been coaxing that reaction from Raven recently. There was something pleasant about honest laughter that Raven had never noticed, and she felt she could understand a little of Beast Boy now. "I meant how you plan to accomplish that mission."

Silence from Starfire. 

"I...see," Raven smiled to herself. "Well, before we snatch a lock of his hair, let's try the time-tested method for it."

"Time-tested?" Star wondered.

"We're going to ask someone else to push him your way," the witch explained, pulling a tome from the shelf. " I need a minute to study." After Starfire left, Raven looked down at the pattern again, more serious. The magics were often subtle, ambiguous, and often misleading. Never in her experience was anything so explicit and Raven personally didn't trust it. Bending down to scoop up delicate bones which had arranged themselves into the tell-tale letter "R."


	3. Intermission

**A/N**: Did it really take half a year to write a couple hundred words? Yes, and I'm sorry. Long story short, I lost my job, my place, I'm not going to school, and any data I had already typed was lost four times. The good news is that's almost over and the next chapter should be MUCH longer and done by August, then I'll take a month off to write some other stuff. This is just an intermission to let you know I haven't abandoned it. Also, I've gone back and fixed a couple errors in the first two chapters. Thank you all for support and patience.

PS: Beta! I need a beta! if you're interested.

**The Dream**

As her consciousness began to ebb, she felt Trigon's presence at the hedge of her awareness, beckoning. He didn't contact her often, but often enough that it ceased to surprise her. Sometimes she allowed her mind to respond to the ethereal summons, sometimes not. Either way she regretted her decision.

Suffice to say that her relationship with Trigon was...complicated.

This night she responded and Raven found herself amid a grey desert, devoid of color and life. Usually dreams of Trigon were frenetic montages of brutal violence and vivid images of human suffering yet to come. One night of respite, apparently wasn't too much to ask of him. The sky was ink-black and cloudless, populated with millions of twinkling stars like so many distant city lights.

"I bring a gift, Little One." Lowering her gaze from the sky, she found her father standing before her, a small dull grey trinket in his hand. He held it out before her, palm up. It was a lead idol of what was suggested to be a cloaked woman's form. At it's front, the heavy folds parted enough to show that there was actually empty space under the shroud . Under the hood a somewhat featureless mask was delicate and small-boned, hinting at the face of a woman. At the figurine's base, rays of what was obviously sunlight radiated outward from the invisible masked deity.

"It is Baphomet," Trigon explained. There a suggestion in his voice; something she was meant to infer, perhaps.

She didn't touch the offered figure. "I thought Baphomet was the Prophet. A mistranslation," was all she said.

"No," Trigon sighed, his disappointment plain. He lowered his hand and the idol faded away. It would be in her room when she woke, she knew. "Baphomet is the Prophecy." Again that lilt that told her nothing. He sighed again and Raven insides twisted. She hated this demon, this monster, and that broke his heart...and that made her feel guilty...and she resented him for _that_. (1)

"If all you wanted was to give me a new doll to play with, you can go now," she told him in her raspy monotone.

"Your birthday looms, Little One," he said simply. Her mouth snapped shut. As if she needed reminding. In less than a year, now, she would see her sixteenth and Raven's demonic heritage would truly waken. From there The End was inevitable.

The legions of The Deep prepare," Trigon continued looking of to the side at something too distant to be actually seen. " They work themselves into a spiritual ecstasy and sensual hysteria, ready to transcend the barrier and rend the world to nothing."

She so didn't need to hear this. At least he wasn't showing her this time. "Whatever. I'll destroy them all if I have to."

"They shall not cross over the plane."

"W-what?" That took her by surprise. Was Trigon giving up? Dare she hope? Not really. Likely another trick of his.

"They are unnecessary and I find their company to be quite distasteful." Trigon sneered as he said this. His expression warmed again when he turned his gaze back to his daughter. "You and I shall do this--conquer your worlds."

"Go awa--"

Her father stepped forward cradling her face in his large hands, and her reply trailed off. "Your are my Ultimate Act. My Favorite. A thousand of Earth's winters afore, I saw this: that you would be born of my essence and it would be perfect. The time was Chosen. Arella was Chosen. _I_ was Chosen. This you cannot shirk--that Fate itself shall be cradled in your soft hands and even Destiny of the Endless shall bow to you and you will speak and he shall say 'So it will be.' All of existence has not seen a potential as crucial as yours. You and I, we shall do this. I couldn't be more proud that you are of mine." (2)

What was she supposed to say to this? He did this every time. This morbid attempt at sweet words and cooing over her potential for destruction. It was disgusting and annoying. She hated him.

But she loved the attention.

That was the problem with it. That unconditional adoration that no human was capable of. She could defeat him, keep him from crossing over (and she _would_) and with his final moment before being condemned back to nether realms he would praise her; would be so proud. It was sick the way this monster loved her, so wholly, so completely. But he did. And it was kinda nice.

That love might be the death Earth someday.

They stood there for a long minute, she drawing in the gray dust with the toe of her soft boot, he openly staring at her, not noticing her effort to ignore him. Finally, he spoke again:

"How was your day?"

Raven had to laugh at that one. It wasn't the nice laugh she had when Star told her tales of the youthful mischief she frequently found herself in back home. It wasn't even the mean-spirited sound she had when Beast Boy crashed Robin's cycle into a shrub. She sounded insane.

But it was crazy!

"Have you finally run out of things to say?" she managed between choking breaths and dwindling chuckles. "'How was your day'?"

"Well?" He prodded. "Do you enjoy your schooling?"

"No."

"Then that is what we shall destroy first."

"YOU WON'T!" Her reaction was what Beast Boy surreptitiously called "typical Raven" when he thought she couldn't hear. Her spiritual energy lash out in all directions--slightly of it's own accord. The gray earth turned black, cracking in places, and somewhere behind Raven even erupted in a geyser of power and rage, swirling stinging dust in around them.

It was his look of first computation, then appreciation that reminded her,_This is what he wants..._

"Calm yourself, child," he told her. "Remember your lessons and separate your Self from emotions and attachments--you won't be with them long and needn't become acquainted."

(oooo)

Raven had spent the past six hours in her bed, staring at the adjacent wall.

After the visit from her father--over an hour of awkwardness, with him inquiring on minor details of her life ("Did you enjoy your summer? How are your friends? Do you watch much of the television? I'm told you write poetry. Have you ever written about the wasting disease? It is a fond subject of mine."), he finally left her to her dreams, which were not at all pleasant.

It was the mud dream, again. She hadn't had it in months.

Drowning, suffocating in mud. She could actually feel it, taste it. The earth pouring in through her nostrils, her throat, filling her lungs as spots flashed before her vision. It surrounded her, squeezing, crushing her, and shook her body with righteous fury.

It's not what really happened. Terra hadn't come near that close to killing her. Even then, Raven was mere seconds from using her own power to surround Terra, to squeeze her, to kill her. But for Slade's help and Terra's new-found control, Raven would have snapped her pretty little neck.

The other Titans--good people, but they really couldn't fathom why she should feel so isolated. They would exchange confused looks and shrug soundlessly--maybe Raven just preferred books to people, poetry to socializing, scathing sarcasm to comradeship. There were all kinds of people in the world. Beast Boy, for example, was green.

Maybe she should test Cyborg. "Hey, Cy," she could say, "I'm a seed of malevolent nature, destined to destroy this planet and a couple others. Can I talk to you?"

But no. For all their faults, her friends were pure in virtue, and Raven was inherently evil. There would be little compassion...or even comprehension of such a miserable predicament.

There was a demon, told of in the writings of Augustine of Hippo (3), Demogorgon, who'd renounced his position as Great Duke and walked the Earth for a thousand years begging forgiveness of God. Whether his prayers ever found God's ear was never answered. It was a scary thought, and it was the closest thing to consolation she had--to read these musty books that told of magic, light and dark; powers, terrible and insignificant; personalities, virtuous and evil, and float on her own ambiguity as if maybe--maybe--she were the one and not the other. Who else, after all, was there to talk to besides the comforting tale Rorek slaying Malchior, the great deed overcoming the vile nature?

Speaking of which, shifting around from under her silk sheets, Raven leaned across the bed, reaching for the novel sitting on her nightstand, only to recoil back. The gift from her father, statue was there staring back at her. She'd almost forgotten about it. Beside that was not the book she was looking for. It was her diary.

She wrote in it until about noon.

**A/N:** You'll have noticed the format of this story is different. As an intermission, this'll be the only one like that. You also may have noticed Trigon isn't all "Grrrr, I'm gonna get you Raven." I always thought that sort of character was too simple and didn't make sense, despite the fact that it is largely how both the comic and cartoon characters come off. If you'll forgive the transgression, you likely won't have to deal with it again, as I'll be ruining the canon in other ways. I also wanting to talk about perhaps why Raven has such a fascination with reading in general and fantasy in particular. I could have said "likes magic...duh..." but...I didn't. Sorry.

(1) Baphomet is a myth, at best. This idol didn't really surface until as late as the nineteenth century according to some. There may or may not have been much ado about worship of an idol called Baphomet in Christian Europe around the times of the Crusades. Kind of like how Satanic cults in today's America don't really exist except in pop-culture. The most famous allusion to Baphomet is the implication that the Knights Templar were heretics and worshiped such an idol--except, like I said, there's no proof such an idol ever existed. Historians have concluded that "Baphomet" was an Anglicization of the Moslem "Mohammet," and the hatred of Islam from the period translated into the frenzy against this idol. And if you have trouble seeing how someone could so completely butcher a word check out some of the other foreign words in the English language and their forebears.

So when Raven says she thought Baphomet was the Prophet, that's what she meant--that she had assumed it was a bastardized reference to Mohammet, not that such an idol actually existed. Trigon's statement that Baphomet is the Prophecy...may or may not be too vague for the story. I'm not yet sure, because I don't know if I'm going to write the follow up to Diary.

(2) Destiny of the Endless is an actual DC character, most notable for his appearances in Neil Gaiman's Sandman series, although he existed outside of that canon before that. The Endless are personifications of various aspects of existence: Dream, Death, Desire, Delirium, Destiny, and Despair. There was a point in a Superman comic where Supes flies to the edge of the universe, and there stands Destiny. He tells Superman to go no farther, and Supes turns around and goes back. Just like that. For Trigon to predict that Destiny would bow to Raven is has serious as it sound, although keep in mind that like most prophets, Trigon is speaking in circles and playing with words.

(3) There's no such demon in his writings to my knowledge, but Augustine of Hippo was a real person and a Saint who proclaimed demons to have been Angels that had fallen from grace for rebelling against God. Demogorgon is a demon oft-mention in other texts, however he is not like how I portray him here. The name is Greek, (demos people, not demon), but Demogorgon is Christian invention. History is strange indeed.


	4. The Joke

**The Joke**

_xx/xx/xxxx  
Robin was struck by hallucinations of Slade. I entered Robin's head and he seems more distraught than he should have been, even considering the circumstances. On top of everything else to worry about, now our leader's finally breaking..._

Everything was upside-down except for Starfire who appeared rightside-up...except for Starfire's hair which fell straight up...making it upside-down. Believe it or not, Raven suspected that wasn't what was bringing on the borderline headache. "Star, this isn't really meditation."

Starfire wasn't at all perturbed by the blood in her head or the topsy-turvy perspective, "I would always come here to think." Right now the two were hanging by their legs from Robin's pull-up bar in the gym. According to the alien girl, such bars were all over Tamaran and people would randomly stop whatever they were doing to hang upside-down and think. It wasn't the strangest thing Raven had heard about Tamaran. So while Raven dangled, tense, hoping the crook in the back of her knees--Raven's only grip onto the pull-up bar--wouldn't slip, she thought about what she could be doing: meditating and not risking a broken neck. Starfire, on the other hand, hung there playing with Raven's wolf spider familiar as if it were a pet--nothing at all on her mind, apparently.

"Robin has been quite agitated since...the event..." Starfire finally said, in between muttering nonsense syllables to the familiar.

So _this_ was "The Event." now. First, the Red X fiasco was "The Event" nobody would directly refer to, then Slade's apprentice program. Almost a year ago, The Event was Slade-bots trashing the tower and Terra turning coats. They really needed a happy Event to refer to--like that time Beast Boy got sick, was high on Tylenol PM and sang "I Can't Get No Satisfaction," on the dining table.

"Don't worry about it," Raven finally said. "He was...agitated...before this whole thing."

"Hn." That didn't mollify Star. She sudden pulled herself up to sit on the bar with the spider in her lap--now appearing upside-down with right-side up hair falling down. "Now we sit up, Raven."

"I can't do that, Kori," the goth protested. "I don't have your abs. _Robin_ doesn't have your abs." _(1)_

"Of course not," the other girl shrugged. "My abs are my own. Allow me to assist."

Everything flipped around, including Raven's stomach, as Starfire pulled her up, and the room went from upside down to revolving around Raven's dazed vision. "I--I think I'm going to purge..." Her head was doing something funny--like she was falling or something. "Is this what we were waiting for?"

Star laughed. "You are so delicate!" she teased. "He agreed to the coffee, yet that was days ago. I think he is ignoring me."

Everything was still spinning. "Hold on," when Raven's stomach and vision finally settled she continued. "Give him a couple days, and drag him away from the computer no matter what he says."

"And this works?"

Raven nodded, "From what I've seen, it always starts with coffee. Or a bet whereas one of you pretends to be something your not. But that doesn't apply here."_(2)_

"As in pretending to be a tree?"

"Uh...no."

"Because I have done this before." What the heck? But nothing Starfire said surprised Raven anymore.

Before Raven could further investigate why Star would pretend to be a tree (No, seriously, what the heck?), the other girl was upside-down again. With a sigh, Raven followed. Everything was upside-down again; Starfire was still rightside-up to Raven's vision, and Starfire's hair was again the strange combination of both.

"By my next summer, I would have been expected to have officiated a life-mate." The other girl seemed to have no problem with the effects of rapidly changing orientation. In fact, Starfire reached up-down to start braiding her own hair. "That is not likely, I understand."

"Uh...no." The dizziness was confusing--not at all like spinning until she got sick (Long story short: Cyborg found her sitting in an office chair; gave her a twirl; claimed not to know his own strength.). It was more like the sensation she sometimes got burning NagChampa and lemon grass incense at the same time. "On Earth, you'd both still be considered children. I doubt Robin would agree to anything so...serious for a few years yet."

The wolf spider was slowly making her way up-down Starfire's neck. In that strange, slow way some animals have, the familiar tentatively reached around the girl's chin to feel around Star's face. Raven would have shuddered, but her hold on the pull-up bar as precarious enough already. Just as the spider was reaching into Star's nose the girl picked up the animal and frowned at it. "The courtship, for me, is impossible to figure, but I have the marriage itself perfectly plotted."

"Oh?"

"It is true, Dearest Friend. We shall take the Orange Wing of Reflective Wonders--it has a most impressive view of the mercury pool. So when I return every night, weary of State matters, he can attend me, and I shall enjoy seeing him framed by the most magnificent art objects reflecting his image."

Raven grinned, "So he'll stay at home while you work? 'You go, girl,' I think, is the expression."

"I shall keep that in mind," Starfire nodded solemnly. "But Robin would not like to sit idle, would he? No, he would perhaps enjoy an executive position."

That was true. Obsession with Slade notwithstanding, Robin was a workaholic at fifteen. If Koriand'r thought her marriage to Robin would be routine and free of turbulence, she would have a rude surprise in store. "Do you have a Department of Justice--uh--Prosecution on Tamaran? Or a Bureau of Investigation?"

They sat up again. Everything turvy-topped and in Raven's head it felt like a runaway elevator descending at fatal speeds. Starfire, of course, smiled placidly, "Ah, yes. Robin would acquit himself well leading theKr'q'klg."

The...the what? "Say that again?" Raven requested. Star did and Raven wondered how one was to spell all that hacking and spitting.

"The--ah--Suspicion, would be your word," Star offered helpfully. Raven was doubtful ("Hn," being her only response the to simple translation of such a dubious-sounding word) but her friend continued. " That would be wonderful! To return from long days to each other and find the children neatly tended by our--oh." Her face fell. On anyone else it was just an expression of of some small disappointment, but Star had a way of making everything looking world-shattering in consequence. "I--I have noK'norfka for my children." Blinking away tears already forming, she explained, "It is usually a close relation...it means--uh--shepherd? AK'norfka watches over the Royal Family and especially the heirs to protect us from intrigues. My K'norfka has no children and was himself a boon companion of my father."

It wasn't difficult to add it up. Starfire's troubles were reduced to few sources: homesickness, her family, her non-relationship with Robin, and evil in general. "The position would have gone to your sister." Raven said.

Star nodded. "Komand'r is intent on punishing herself--on forcing me to punish her--for what, I know not."

Raven sighed and rolled her eyes. She was getting soft. Puppy-dog eyes never had any effect on her before--both Starfire and Beast Boy had tried often enough. As anempath it was entirely too much work to care what other people went through, and as a seed it was entirely too dangerous to invest in someoneelse's emotional state. Now she could barely avoid doing so. "Your K'norfka was just a friend of the Monarch? Then if I'm still...sane...and your sister hasn't reformed, I'd probably have nothing better to do than chase after you and your silly brood, anyway." Safe enough bet without quite lying. The chances of Raven holding on to her sanity weren't good, and if she wasn't destroying enslaving worlds she'd have little to fill her time.

"Ah! You should love it, Dearest Friend. You would make quite a sage on Tamaran. You shall have the Midnight Apartment--I reserve the Middle Chambers forAqualad, who will be my consort."

"How...liberated of Robin," Raven grinned at the assumption. Or was Starfire teasing? The two shared an attraction to Aqualad after all...

"Robin...liberated? Was he a servant, then?" Starfire, of course, failed to understand.

"Royal prerogative notwithstanding, if Aqualad's going to live on Tamaran, he's going to be _my_ consort. You can't just come to Earth and take everything back with you."

"Are you possessive, then?" Star joked, slyly glancing at her friend askance. "I planned to abduct the Johnny Depp and match him to you, but if you insist..."

"Ha!" No you don't. Johnny Depp's all mine!"

"Well, I shall have to settle." The two shared a laugh at that. More like a giggle, really. Raven wasn't the giggling type, but that JohnnyDepp--he was delicious!

"Raven! Starfire!" Robin's voice cut through the mood. He was standing in the doorway looking up at them. He spared them only a flicker of puzzlement (what, exactly were they doing sitting on his pull-up bar?) before his face was once again inscrutable. "Emergency meeting, five minutes."

"Brother Blood?" Raven guessed.

"No." And with that he turned and stalked out. His terse replies were getting shorter by the day. While the witch merely rolled her eyes, the alien looked down at the spot Robin had occupied with concern. With a very human sigh, she floated down to the floor to follow after him. Raven, after a long minute, did the same.

Left to her own devices, the wolf spider-familiar existed for only a moment before disappearing in a flash of black.

_xx/xx/xx_

_Starfire's hair takes an hour a day to care for! Apparently people are supposed to help groom it like we're chimps or something. Like I know anything about hair..._

(oooo)

"I...have a friend who's...interested in...a guy..." Raven ground out. "She...doesn't really know how--"

"Raven, I'm seeing someone," Cyborg cut off and went back to massaging the ground turkey into shape. Star insisted that he make huge meatballs that didn't fit on any fork and took hours to cook properly, but he obliged because she was so quick to compliment his obvious skill in the kitchen. Personally, he thought he was better than Beast Boy, but he'd since learned that saying anything was pushing Beast Boy too far.

"Ah." Raven nodded slightly puzzled by this non-sequitur. Meanwhile, she couldn't seem to follow his written instructions on the making of the almond pastries. "Does 'egg whites' mean the shells?" Eventually, he washed his hands and shoved her out of the way, leaving her to think about how to continue the conversation she didn't want to have. "I...didn't mean you. Sorry."

"Right. Could you put those in the pan for the oven?" Wiping his hands, Cy set the timer for the meatballs and went back the mixture that was supposed to mixing ingredients for tomorrow's desert. No wonder the girl stuck to herbal tea. "Beast Boy...is still going through some things after Terra. I'd give him some time if I were you, Raven."

"I certainly wasn't indicating him."

"Aqualad? Speedy? You like Red X? Or Robin?"

"I'm trying to hook up Star and Robin." She finally blurted out. Like this wasn't difficult enough, he had to go and guess the names of the innocent. "Wait...you'd pair me off with Beast Boy before Robin? At least Robin's competent. Beast Boy--that's just gross."

Cy grinned at that. Personally, he thought Raven tried too hard in showing her distaste in Beast Boy. "You and Robin would never talk."

"Focus, Friend." Raven nudged him. "She asked him out for coffee and he's avoiding her. I...am out of my depth, here..."

His eyebrows raised at her use of Star's term, but he said nothing. "Robin would never drag himself out of here on his own accord...um...he has a girlfriend in Gotham, anyway."

"What?!"

Cy nodded, keeping his face carefully neutral. He wasn't sure if that was supposed to be a secret...For Robin, everything was secret.

"But...he hasn't been in to Gotham in months. That doesn't make sense."

"I know, right!" Cyborg's enthusiasm on the subject got ahead of him. So, yeah, he usually didn't gossip but this always _annoyed_ him like an itch between his shoulder blades. "I told him...uh...I...uh..."

"Right," she guessed. Cyborg wouldn't want to speak out of turn. Hn. That was interesting. Robin had a girlfriend?

Who would've guessed? He certainly didn't act like it. "Where the pasta?" she asked. She had meant to help with dinner and she was just standing by watching. Even when he worked on his car she handed him tools as he explained how everything worked and what he was doing. In the kitchen he was all over the place and she always felt in the way.

"You don't do the pasta until right before dinner."

"Oh. Then do you know how to make pancakes?"

The metal man blinked at that. This conversation was all over the place. "For dinner?"

She rolled her eyes. "For breakfast tomorrow. Pancakes...Star likes to stack them."

...Almond extract. He might just barely run out. It looked like Raven had confused teaspoons and tablespoons. "Starfire got to pick dinner. Can you get me more eggs?"

"I think I can make salad..." Raven offered, rummaging through the refrigerator. "It's her birthday tomorrow."

"Huh." Navigating the kitchen was still his main focus. He still had the sauce to make but that could wait till tomorrow, as well. "We didn't celebrate last year."

"They do things weird in Tamaran." Under her breath, she added, "They do everything weird in Tamaran, it seems."

(oooo)

The weary Titans filed into the rec room for their first debrief. They wouldn't debrief in the command room until tomorrow at the earliest. This first meeting was to go over everything while it was still fresh. Later, when emotional wounds from their individual failings weren't quite so raw, they could begin the clinical procedure of improvement. Every major conflict was followed by as many as seven debriefs, the last as late as two months after the incident.

"Are you sure it's not still broken?" Beast Boy was holding his right arm to his chest protectively. He flopped into the nearest chair and immediately regretted it as every muscled signaled their protest.

Raven followed him into the main wing of Titan Tower. "Either you can take my word for it, or you can slam it on the coffee table until you're quite sure." This meeting would not be one of the quicker ones and nobody was really in the mood today. It would be enough to say that David Cain had righteously kicked their asses. At her teammate's hurt look she half-sighed, half-growled. Beast Boy had a right to be concerned. Using his powers with a broken bone had a way of exacerbating the injury...as well as breaking other bones randomly. Nobody could figure it out, but it scared the hell out of the little green Titan.

"The muscles are inflamed." she finally concluded. "The fracture caused some tissue damage I couldn't heal right away. I'd give you willow bark extract for it, but you'd end up on the table singing 'American Pie.'"

Beast Boy made that annoying whining noise that warned he was on the verge of freaking out and nobody was really in the mood today.

"I'll try again later," she conceded before he got started. "You see me, too, Star. I've got a poultice that'll heal those cuts so they don't scar."

"I no longer like vampire-people," Star grumbled, stomping in behind Cyborg. Claws marks decorated her skin along the arms with one ugly slash on her left cheek. The last to enter was Robin. A disappointed Robin. Like they needed this right now.

"Okay...that could have gone better." Robin started.

"That couldn't possibly have." BB shot back. "Mission Accomplished."

"Okay, let's sit down and wind down first." Cy suggested. It was amazing how nothing ever got in the way of Cyborg's ability to mother hen the rest of the team. You'd think one of these days he'd be pissed off like everyone else. Maybe it was just because he was older, but Raven strongly suspected that was just Cyborg.

Robin ignored the suggestion, "Forty thousand dollars' property damage, 2 injured--"

Beast Boy talked over him, making the argument hard to follow--not that the other Titans really wanted to, "The vamps were out of our control, and Cain came to kill people--no deaths, so--"

Robin: "Glaring weakness in defending Mayor's home, his daughter got taken right under our noses--"

Beast Boy: "Five kids ain't the freakin' National Guard and we got the girl back--"

Rob: "Totally unprepared despite nearly a weeks' warning! We knew there was a hit on the Mayor and we don't think to protect the girl?"

Beast Boy responded by slapping his forehead. "It's David-freakin'-Cain! You don't prepare! You get your Last Rites out of the way. Cain came here to do a job and left unhappy--the best we could do. The best anybody could do." _(3)_

Robin didn't reply; instead staring at the far wall of the rec room. "The vampires--that's how he got us," he mumbled to himself.

"Du-uh!" No stopping Beast Boy now. Why couldn't they just go to bed and wish they never woke up like usual?

"BB," Cyborg tried calming his friend down. Beast Boy was getting ever more annoying lately. Terra, school, crime-fighting, hormones? Who knew what was getting to him.

"Cyborg, dude--what the hell? I mean, who even knew vampires existed? How do you prepare for that?"

"I knew. I never bothered to learn how to deal with them though--even though I knew Bats faced them before. A lapse on my part." Robin again. (4)

"ARE YOU CRAZY?" Beast Boy was near-hysterical.

"Chill, little man," but Cyborg knew it was a lost cause. Beast Boy would yell and scream and throw things until he was out of energy. It was just how he unwound. Raven and Starfire exchanged glances and shrugged. Star flopped onto the sofa before remembering just how badly her back hurt.

"Cy, don't you hear this? Robin thinks he was supposed to expect a hit-man to throw vampires at us?"

"Yeah, but--"

"Check out Boy Wonder-do-all! When you were born, did you cut the cord, yourself? _With your teeth_?"

The argument would have escalated further if it hadn't been for the interruption that was the new 72-inch television exploding. Not that anyone notice--another sound dreweveryone's attention.

Laughter. Raven laughing. At a Beast Boy wisecrack.

No, Raven cracking up!

"With...with...his teeth," she mumbled before doubling over on the couch, holding her gut. It was classic "cracking up" posture--one Raven was simply incapable of assuming. The overhead lights blew out in a crackle of sparks and dark energy by the time Raven got herself under control. Tears were running down her face.

It was like nothing the team had ever seen before.

Beast Boy recovered first, "Oh, so you like that kinda insulting, sarcastic schtick? I don't do that."

"I do not understand," Starfire said. "Did Robin bite into a cable?"

Now the whole team laughed. It was kinda funny: the image of little baby Robin in a little baby Robin-mask and cutting the little cord with his little teeth...then biting into a cable. By the time everyone settled down (and Starfire had had enough of being kept out of the festivities) they were all relaxed in their favorite chairs and in rather favorable spirits.

"Sorry, dude," Beast Boy told Robin; the leader waved away his apology.

"Raven," the Boy Wonder wanted to know, "What was that?"

"An audible expression of merriment," Raven deadpanned. "I've laughed before."

Quietly, but obviously, the rest of the team looked around and surveyed the damage: That TV was new and expensive. Their accountant would swoon when he found out. Shatter glass from the overhead fluorescent lights salted the floor. If the sun hadn't risen less than an hour ago, the room would be totally dark. Their point was obvious and Raven blanched, then flushed (which was odd for her pale face). "Sorry."

But Beast Boy didn't care about that, "I got it! The Pink Raven!"

"I knew it," Cy muttered.

"The what?" That was both Raven and Robin.

Finally Starfire: "You know about the Pink Raven?"

Cyborg and Beast Boy respond: "You know about the Pink Raven?"

"What the heck is the Pink Raven?" Raven and Robin.

"You don't know about the Pink Raven?" Beast Boy demanded. "But...it was...you."

Raven and Robin exchanged confused glances from across the coffee table (it survived the laughter). Then Raven blushed. Was this because pink was her favorite color? How in the world did everyone find that out?

"Remember," Beast Boy prodded, "We went inside your head with the mirror--"

"And I attacked you, yes I remember," Raven interrupted. "I've already apologized."

Now Cyborg and Beast Boy exchanged confused looks, but Cy shook his head "no" and the younger Titan decided not to argue the point.

Beast Boy didn't care anyway. He made Raven laugh. Even if he no longer had a working Gamestation, she totally made his day. (5)

(oooo)

_**Bitch!**_

Whatever that was, it woke Raven up immediately. She sat there for a while wondering if it was Trigon that woke her--but no, she would have known his presence immediately. The walls were stout enough that she probably didn't hear anything from the halls. Was it her communicator? A quick glance told her that she hadn't had any recent message though. All was still and peaceful with the ominous Baphomet idol menacing over the room from her nightstand. She had just given up and was on her way back to sleep when she was suddenly aware ofsomeone's thoughts.

No: she was aware of being aware of it. Whoever it was, their emotions had being drifting out and tangling into her consciousness for a while now. The feelings had to be intense to reach her when she wasn't looking for them and especially powerful to wake her up. Now that Raven was trying, it was easy to find Robin in the gym at three in the morning pounding a bag with taped fists.

He looked...strange in civilian clothing, which was strange because Raven knew in her head that his disguise was the strange clothing, but it was what she had always accepted as "Robin." Here, with everyone asleep, he was barefoot wearing an undershirt and loose sweatpants. It was so colorless and utilitarian--much more like the real Robin.

He was instantly away of her, she knew that much. While not trying to get into his head, a lot of it was just rolling off him, emanating just like the heat he generated when he punched and kicked at the heavy bag in front of him. He ignored her for a few moments and she decided to talk. "Can't sleep?"

"I always work out." He groused. His mask was off and he didn't want anybody to ever see him like that. If the team knew who he was, they'd know who Batman was and it was a risk he hated, but Raven suspected that wasn't why he was pissed. It only took a moment to fetch a mask from a nearby gym back and slip it on, then resume his routine.

It was quite again for another two minutes, save for him beating on the bag. With every hit, there was a low exclamation of breath--Raven didn't know what that was about, but then again, she didn't make a habit of punching and kicking. He was clearly and overtly ignoring her, willing her to leave him alone to his stewing psyche. It was vaguely familiar to Raven, though she didn't know why. "Wanna talk about it?" she tried.

"No." His tone was short and is presence was quietly hostile. If she would leave he would scare her off--was that it? She'd seen this all before. Maybe it just felt oddly because Robin looked different but there was something disturbing about the familiarity.

In any case, she knew enough to know how to handle him now, "So who's a bitch, then?"

He immediately spun to face her, eye's wide. "You've been in my head, again?" he demanded.

"No," Raven shrugged, unconcerned with his anger. "You told me. You're projecting thoughts like a loud speaker. Who's Babs?"

Robin ignored the question and turned to the punching bag, giving Raven his back again. "Go back to sleep," he half-suggested, half-ordered.

"You woke me up. Humor me."

He stood like that for another minute, apparently waiting for Raven to give up and return to bed. He had just been about to return to his exercises, just hit the bag again when it exploded in black energy.

"God DAMN it, Robin!" Okay, Raven hadn't mean to go that far, but it had felt nice. She had been letting loose entirely too often lately, but for now she just couldn't care much. "Do you think this is alright? You've become such an asshole lately! Do you think it's just coincidence that Slade got to you last month? Do you not at all think it's a problem that you made such an easy mark? What are you doing lurking down here like some TV vampire instead of fixing things? You solve problems, right? So what's your problem?"

For a moment, her echo bounced about in the empty gymnasium. It was embarrassing, really, an outburst like that. She would have left, taking care to hide her blush had Robin not started to speak. "It's...complicated."

It always was. "Who's Babs? Barbara? Who's that?"

Robin started at the name, still weirded out that Raven was reading his mind (while not reading his mind). "Uh...yeah, she's...my girlfriend."

"Oh," Was all Raven could think to say.

"I think we're breaking up."

"Oh," Raven repeated. What did she know about this? Great idea, she scolded herself. Coming down to the cold gym on bare feet to solve the problems of the most independent member of the group? How on Earth did she feel so qualified? "Um..." she tried, "This is the girl from Gotham? You haven't been there in a while."

"She doesn't want me fighting crime." He spat bitterly, then deflated a little. "Well, no, that's not true. She wants me to stop but she doesn't, I don't know."

"You had a fight." Raven suggested unnecessarily. She might as well be a potted plant, as useful as she was.

Robin didn't notice her own unease, awkward as he felt, himself. "I wanted to let it all blow over--but the she--the time...I dunno. I heard from Bats, and there's this guy...uh..."

He wasn't looking at her, but she felt he wasn't lying either. Of course, it was obvious he didn't want to talk at all, but she suspected something in his words was--wait."You heard from Batman and not Barbara? When was the last time you talked to her?"

Robin blushed under his mask. "Oh. Well, at first I was kinda mad and cooling off, then--then the thing with Terra and Slade. Then I was trying to make sure Slade was gone, and I got so busy, and then Slade and David Cain and now this Brother Blood thing--"

"You were buried in work," Raven finished for him.

"It's happened before, but--"

Raven sighed. "Robin, if this girl knows who you are, I'm guessing she means a lot. And it sounds like she's willing to take second place in your life, but a _distant_ second is probably intolerable. Don't you know anything like girls? They're like plants that feed on attention."

That got a laugh out of him--not that it was funny, but he was distraught and was willing to laugh. He probably agreed as well. "In our line of work, that's not at all reasonable--"

"It's not," Raven agreed. "But do you really want a relationship to end like this? You in the dark cursing to yourself and she wishing you were there instead?"

That bothered him. That she could sneer at his brooding--her of all people! But it stung--badly. He was turning into Batman. For all that he loved Bruce, he moved to the Bay and worked with the Titans to get _away_ from him and his juggernaut of grief and mission. This damn gym might as well be another cave. How had this happened when he had been so determined to _not be Batman? _"The Brother Blood thing could be serious! I can't spare a moment!" Even as he said it, he felt like a poser. Yes, it was serious, and no he could not spare a moment, but damn if didn't just feel like an excuse--and damn if he just couldn't seem to stop himself.

"You can't spare a moment," Raven agreed. "But you're going to have to. Surely you believe that mental and physical health is central to our teams readiness. Terra, and Slade and Cain? If Brother Blood is as serious as you and I say, we need a leader who isn't distracted by Slade or his life back in Gotham. Your going to have to recover from Slade and your going to have to tie up loose ends back home."

"What are you saying? That I'm dismissed?" Raven and Cyborg together could dismiss Robin at any time--a safe measure after the Red X incident and now this thing with the hallucination. "That I'm crazy?" He was glaring sideways at her, unwrapping the tape on his hands and wrists and it sure _looked_ like a threat. When did Robin, of all people, get so volatile? What the hell did Slade put in that mask?

"No. As the team's empath, everyone's emotional state is my jurisdiction. I'm prescribing a week's leave--I don't care about your girlfriend or even how you feel. My only interest is the interest of the team." Raven said this in her usual aloof monotone and she certainly looked as if she meant it--what initially brought her down here was the simple fact that Robin _was_ worrying everybody and it was time somebody forced him into motion. But maybe she felt a small twinge of sympathy for the poor dolt who chose work over emotional difficulty (after all, she'd do the same, without being half as driven in her work as Robin). What kept the boy from acknowledging his mistake? Pride? Stubbornness? The plain inability to see the reaction of his actions? Faith that everything should support his crusade against evil simply because it _must_? The poor boy.

"You can't do that!" Robin bristled, and for a second, Raven supposed that he'd guessed at her thoughts. No, pity wouldn't be welcome.

But no, more likely he just didn't like being told what to do. Raven smirked at her leader. It was fun--needling people. "Of course I can. I'm the team's healer--I can certainly prescribe, even without my magic, and to disobey would be to insubordinate my authority as healer."

Ironclad. Robin nodded in agreement with her assessment even as he protested, "But I can't leave!"

"But you have to. Work it out for yourself."

"But--you don't understand!"

"I don't, really."

"I'm failing Biology II!"

"Oh..." That one caught Raven off-guard. Of all the...the Titans were require to maintain a GPA (Beast Boy, of course, perpetually on probation). the idea that the Boy Wonder had a chink in his resume of amazing skills was kinda funny. Robin failing?" So you really don't know much about girls." She smirked.

Robin laughed. It _was_ kinda lame--Terra, Slade, Cain, Brother Blood, Gotham, and Biology II. How nice to have a mundane problem for once. "Was that a dirty joke from you? Heart-to-heart talks about personal problems? Are you sure you're not the Pink Raven?" he mocked in a fair imitation of Cyborg.

"I have no idea what they're talking about" She waved away that stupid claim by Cyborg. "But...listen...are you...um...I said some--"

"I'm fine," he reassured her. It seemed that whatever courage brought her down here to confront him finally gave way. She left him there in the dark feeling particularly alone.

(oooo)

It was finally quite and Raven was enjoying a good read for about...twenty seconds perhaps when there was the loud crash of something shattering. She ignored it until Cyborg's voice could be heard claiming "Raven's gonna be pissed!"

Was that her china! She hopped out of bed prepared to hurt someone. If that little green rat broke her teacups she'd kick his--

She heard the device's click as soon as she opened her door, but it was too late. She choked on the dust or paper or...

"Glitter?"

"Bull's eye!" Beast Boy crowed. Yes! Perfect! The perfect prank! Even Starfire couldn't find fault with this one--the glitter that covered Raven was totally harmless. "In your face!"

She brushed at it; no luck. she sparkled and twinkled like a damn fairy.

Cyborg shook his head--he couldn't believe Rae fell for that one. Starfire, however, was totally enthralled. "Oh! Raven, you are so shiny! You catch light like a jewel!"

"Ra-ven's so shi-ny! Ra-ven's so shi-ny!" Beast Boy taunted. She ignored him a disgusted sigh and went back into her room. (Joke's on her! She can't wash it off! It'll last twenty-four hours!)

"Don't rub it in, BB." Cy warned. Remember your first prank? She can still beat you up, I bet." Ah, now those were memories: nobody could recall what the prank was, but it ended with Raven pouncing on the prankster and wailing on him with tiny fists.

"Dude, that's not funny," Beast Boy protested. "She must have, like, fifteen pounds on me, still!"

Cyborg gave him a once over, "Hm. You do still look a bit scrawny. I thought you were taking those creatine and whey supplements?"

"I've been trying to bulk up! Nothing! Star, how much do you think Raven weighs?"

"Approximately one hundred, twenty-two pounds and six ounces," was the prompt reply.

Cyborg raised an eyebrow at that, "Approximately?"

"With giving or taking two ounces." With that she followed into Raven's room to compliment her Dearest Friend on her new look.

"Weird." Cy said.

"Yeah," BB agreed. "I weigh more than Raven. But I'm _still_ so small!"

Inside, Raven was discovering what her tormentors already knew: the glitter wouldn't wash off. She threw a washcloth into a random corner with a frustrated growl and mumbled expletives. "Arg! It won't come off my arm, it's on my uniform, my face, IT'S IN MY HAIR!"

"It is beautiful," Star suggested, already know she'd get nowhere with Rae in that mood.

"I look like a baby prostitute!" At Starfires shocked expression she amended, "It's not--never mind. Why does he always have to do this?" Even as she said it, it felt like whining. "Sometimes I hate him so much." And now she was being petulant. Realizing that certainly didn't do anything good for her mood.

"Oh, Beast Boy," Starfire dismissed. "He wishes you to be funny."

"I don't think this is funny at all." Raven interjected. "Or cute."

"No, Friend. He wishes you to respond. He and you: you are funny together."

"A regular Punch and Judy?" she snapped, even though it wasn't Star she was pissed at. "Should I throw away a couple one-liners before going to commercial?"

Starfire shook her head in confusion. "That is it, there. Beast Boy would find that humorous, I believe."

"Well, I don't care" Raven said waspishly. "He can go back to doing one-man acts. I won't join him in his improv troupe, or whatever."

"No." her friend agreed. "You never do."

"...What?"

Poor Starfire could hardly ever follow a conversation with Raven. What bothered her Friend now? "You never join Beast Boy in his frolicking. At least--not willingly."

Why did Starfire always have a way of saying something matter-of-fact and accusing Raven at the same time. "I don't have to."

Star shrugged at that only, bothering Raven further in some vague way. Was she neglectful as a friend simply because she run around squirting people with mustard? What did it matter, anyway? They had nothing in common--he didn't like her and she couldn't stand him. "He thinks I'm funny?"

"Yes. And, apparently, he believes you are quite fat."

_xx/xx/xxxx  
Great. Now I'm the Fat Chick of the group. I'm the Weird Chick and the Fat Chick..._

(oooo)

It had been two days since Robin had left for Gotham and there was already nothing to do.

Who know that so much of the job was keeping everyone occupied?

Cyborg was supposed to be working on a pile of papers and looming set of finals but claimed he couldn't focus without the hustle of impending doom. Starfire had no school-related work--her aptitude in Calculus was insane, and Maths and Languages were the only Earth subjects to require of an alien--although she occasionally studied history off Robin's homework. Beast Boy didn't do schoolwork, and he was bored with the repairedGamestation--the new Grand Theft Auto was already gathering dust.

Raven was a month behind in her leisure reading and was happy for the free time.(6) Unfortunately, reading was always difficult with restless teammates (Starfire was the main reason she hadn't finished Epitaph of Rorek). For example, just now as Beast Boy flopped onto the sofa and stretch out across her lap. Who did he think he was? "Um...trying to read, here."

Beast Boy ignored her and stretched again, shifting about, making himself comfortable. Starfire was hovering behind Raven, alternating between floating about looking for something to amuse herself with and trying to read over Raven's shoulder. Cyborg was staring at a text trying to force himself to be interested in Computer Architecture and Implementation but was constantly distracted by the remote which he picked up every few minutes to flip through all the channels and verified that nothing good was on.

Beast Boy, still in Raven's lap, sighed,"So, uh, does anyone want to practice maneuvers?" Everyone looked at BB like they hadn't seen him before. " I mean, never know what new threat we'll have to deal with...and...stuff..." He trailed off and sighed again.

Raven was actually making progress in the book, having only read the same paragraph three times before moving to the next, when Beast Boy asked her "Whacha readin'?"

She was totally prepared to ignore him. BB would only have to ask twice before getting the point and leaving her alone, but Starfire answered on Raven's behalf: "It is a tale about a wandering spell-caster's apprentice on his way to do valiant battle with a vile dragon-beast! Dearest Friend Raven has promised that I shall next read the story when she has finished."

"You're talking in my ear," either nobody heard Raven, or they chose to ignore her. For some reason, they'd been quite incline to ignore her sense of space recently. That couldn't be good for her powers. "I'm reading here."

"Dragons, huh? That's, like, cool and stuff." Beast Boy said from her lap. "I bet I could slay a dragon. You know what I'd do? I would--"

"You can't turn into a dragon," Cyborg interrupted. His tone said "bored" but arguing with Beast Boy was far more interesting than reading about the testing of digital systems.

"Just watch me!" Beast Boy shot back, much to Raven's horror. Just how stupid were they!?

"A dragon-beast cannot overpower another dragon-beast." Starfire challenged just before Beast Boy began morphing. "You'd only be his equal."

Beast Boy finally got out of Raven's lap (knocking the book to the floor, of course) to challenge. Pointing an accusing finger at Star, he shouted, "Now that's just stupid! I'd turn into a stronger dragon!" With that he turned into a Komodo which was thankfully less than what Raven expected.

"I'd turn into St. George, with a shield and lance!" Cyborg countered(7). Taking up a pool stick (which seemed to come from nowhere) and a pillow, the two best friends began to do battle.

"The only warrior with the power to defeat a dragon-beast would be the Champion known as Rock," Starfire countered. She wasn't familiar with Western mythology, but she knew a lot about professional wrestling and idolized the Rock. Robin once explained to her that the battles on TV were artificial but she either didn't believe him or didn't understand. Some of it looked painful enough that those guys had to be some kind of athletic anyway.

Beast Boy returned to his normal form and the whole thing devolved into a mock three-way melee that threatened the furniture. Eventually, Starfire managed to body slam the green Titan onto the adjacent sofa and mimicked the Rock's "Elbow of the People!" wrestling maneuver which was followed by Beast Boy's over-acted death scene in which he explained that the dragon he was playing had never known his father. By this point, Raven had picked up the dropped book and tried to ignore the noise. It's not like she lost her page--she was still on the first chapter after a month of trying to get into this story.

"Trying to read," she announced again, though nobody seemed to pay any attention.

"How would you vanquish a dread dragon-beast, Raven?" Starfire wanted to know.

The total disregard Raven's need for peace and quiet had her slamming the book shut and ready to castigate them all for the constant disruption. The three of them were oblivious, of course, all smiles directed at her; expecting her to simply return a similarly goofy expression and join in the roughhousing. The expectation alone was rather annoying--at least Robin kept them in check to ensure her space. Something stopped her, although she couldn't rightly name what it was. It involved the notion that this had all started because Beast Boy found Raven's book interesting. That had never happened before. Did boys like dragons? She wondered if he would like her other books. She hesitated slightly when she proposed her idea, "You guys wanna fight a dragon?"

Later that day she only slightly regretted her decision. Perhaps it would have been better if she simply strangled the little green bundle of annoyance. He wasn't doing it right!

"I'll scout ahead," Beast Boy decided. Much eye rolling in reaction to that. Even Starfire had understood that in the game, each player was to assume a specific role and Beast Boy was ignoring his own all the time.

Cyborg glowered at him from across the table. "BB, I'm the scout. Let _me_ scout ahead."

"But you're being attacked by the Orc."

"You could attack it for me!"

"Dude, you're a Scout--he'll barely hit you."

While Cyborg smacked his own forehead, Raven was rubbing her temples. Lots of nonverbal communication. Lots of hints. Too bad Beast Boy never picked up on those. Starfire, bless her heart, tried to explain to Beast Boy, "Friend, your Barbarian has a low dexterity rating. There is a Ranger in the copse ahead sending down arrows upon our party of travelers. He will dodge you even better than Cyborg's Scout could dodge theOrc."

"Man! You guys never believe in me! I'll show you! I'm scouting ahead!"

"Fine!" Raven snapped, slamming down the pair of twelve-side dice. "If you can roll a twenty, you can catch the guy and hit him."

Beast Boy scooped up the dice unperturbed by any knowledge of statistical odds. He rolled as Starfire sighed, sure that they would never get to face the dragon at the end of the quest.

Twenty-three.

Beast Boy grinned. "So, let's see: I have twenty strength and a mythril greataxe, his constitution and armor is a joke...yep! I defeat him in one hit! Oh, and I level up! What do I get, Raven!"

Raven sighed, sounding much like Starfire. This was going to be a long quest.

_xx/xx/xxxx_

_The others really take to fantasy adventures. Cyborg showed me similar games for his Gamestation. Who knew?_

(oooo)

"Hello? Raven? Dearest Friend Raven are you there?"

Beast Boy had been ignoring the hails from his communicator for the past five minutes. It was really starting to grate on (Hello?) his normally relaxed disposition. It wouldn't have (Rae? It is Starfire.) been so bad but he was trying (Hel-loo.) to finish his end-of-curriculum report. Okay, it wouldn't have (Why do you not answer?) been a problem if he had started on the report already, but he ended up reading 1984 twice. He didn't (Are you avoiding me, my good friend?) really understand subtext and all that crap, but the book was good and he just got caught up in the (Raven? Whatever I have done to upset you, truly I am sorry.) story.

Star's voice was thick and choked and she sounded on the verge of tears. Good gravy. The changeling finally reached over the pile of unread comics that he had put on hold--1984 was that good!--and picked up his communicator depressing the fifth button. "Wrong channel," He said into the mic. "Raven's on channel two."

"Oh." The girl's voice was bubbly as ever, now. "Many thanks." Now, the younger Titan thought, back to trying to figure out Orwell. But just as he put down the comm, Starfire's voice burst from the mini speaker again. "Beast Boy?"

He sighed and responded, "Yes?"

"What are you doing on Raven's Channel Two?"

Beast Boy would crush the Titan-brand walkie talkie if it helped his teammate get the message, but it wouldn't and these things cost as much as his cookware set. "Uh, this is channel four. I'm, like, always on channel four."

"Yo! Raven, I been looking all over for you! Where ya at?" Cyborg's voice this time. Beast Boy was convinced enough to check his channel, but, sure enough, he was on channel four, as usual.

"Dude, wrong channel. You and Star both!"

Silence. Finally. Thirty seconds later--he had just got back to the book!--Cy's voice rang in again over a background of static, meaning he was likely in the garage. "BB?" he said. "What are you doing on channel two? And where's Raven?"

He checked again. Was he going crazy? Finally, he depressed the All Comms button. "Hey, Misery Chick! Everybody's looking for you on my channel! Like, get Starfire and Cyborg off my back!"

Silence. Again. He set the communicator down. Nothing. Perfect. BB went back to the book. He really needed to figure this out--he wanted to knock the report outta the park to impress MissKure, his English lit teacher. It had nothing to do with his crush on her.

Then he heard Speedy, "Somebody call me?" GRGH!

Aqualad: "Robin? Robin was that you?" This couldn't be happening...

"Who the snizzin' blister-sore is this scuzz-eating Misery Chick? Get off my T Mobile if you ain't my Fave Five!" What the heck! Didn't they take Gizmo's comm away?

By this point, the green kid was banging his head against the paperback, wishing it were a brick and it would knock him out. Starfire called to report she was not on her back. In fact she was on her feet, walking about the tower looking for Raven and would someone please tell her where Raven was? While she was apologising for apparently upsetting Raven, Cyborg rang in to comment that maybe if Little Man wasn't on Raven's channel, Cy wouldn't have accidentally called him up. Gizmo wouldn't stop cussing him out in his own mysterious language. And Speedy wouldn't give up on the possibility that it was a false dial (the call shouldn't have even gone that far. Only Robin could call honorary members from the computer and Cyborg from the console in his left arm).

For seven minutes it went on. Finally BB had had enough and got back on All Comms. "**AHHHHHHHHHHH!**" He screamed as loud as he could for as long as he could and all went silent.

One minute passed. Two. Three.

Finally.

He was just returning to the novel when one more contralto rose up from the cursed radio. "Beast Boy?"

Raven. Dude, where the heck had she been through all this anyway? "Uh, Raven?"

"I got you," her voice was not as flat as usual. It was amused, and almost laughing.

What the heck did that mean? "Huh?"

"I. Got. You. My prank. I got you."

This was a joke? He was struggling against this deadline, trying to study and Raven wastes his time and his sanity on some silly and pointless joke? That was...that was..."Awesome!" He shouted into the receiver. He mock-bowed to the radio, although Raven couldn't see it. "I am not worthy!"

In his opinion, it was the best thing Raven ever did. And it didn't at all matter that he got owned.

Of course, he never bothered to prank Raven again. He just knew whatever he thought of she could top because she was smart and mean and (just as he always suspected) funny.

_xx/xx/xxxx  
Cyborg told me last year that he still doesn't understand how Beast Boy thinks, but he knows how Beast Boy communicates. It took long enough for me to learn..._  
(oooo)

"He is back! He is back!" Star's screaming announcement could be heard through the thick walls into Raven's room. By the time Rae opened her door Star had flown around the corner to bang on Cyborg's door. ("He is back! He has brought theSouvenir Trinkets!")

On the way to the rec room, Beast Boy, running without bothering to look where he was going slammed into her, "Sorry, Rae. Hey, guess what? Robin's--"

"I know," she stepped around him and ignored him as he ran off to go tell Starfire that Robin had returned.

He was sitting on the back of the couch, looking off at nothing. At his feet was the forgotten bag of gifts from his trip to Gotham. Batman had an impossible library and whenever he went, Robin would bring back something for her.

"Good news, I hope?" her voice brought him back to the present and he looked up. Stupid question, perhaps. Would a happy young man bother to be so quiet? She wasn't sure. Her suspicions were confirmed by the rueful smile and almostimperceptible shake of his head.

"I'm sorry," the words tumbled out of her. Raven didn't even realize she had so invested so much in Robin's attempt to rally his relationship until she said it. "I had thought...I had hoped...I mean it was my idea. I guess you knew better."

He shrugged. "No, I'm fine now." He did seem...quiet. She couldn't feel much from him. "We're...supposed to be friends, now, I guess."

She didn't know what that meant but Starfire, Beast Boy and Cyborg finally found each other and stampeded in to crowd Robin with the inevitable questions about what Batman was like. "Well, if you ever feel like midnightexercises..." she trailed off under Beast Boy's enthusiasm.

Robin smiled--one of those genuine natural smiles that was all teeth. "I'll come find you."

He did seem okay. She broke up with him and he was okay. Go figure.

_xx/xx/xxxx  
The Coffee Plan is postponed for a respectful month. Meanwhile, Robin has decided to join our quest to slay the dragon. Speaking of which...Beast Boy is getting on my last nerve..._

**A/N:**  
Did it really take me over a year to write a couple thousand words? Well...not really. First, I was working two jobs...then the economy went splat! I was doing this bit-by-bit on Google Docs, but for some reason everything suddenly was inPolski and I couldn't use it. Also, I can't upload directly from a web address, I don't think. So really, it's not my fault. Well, it kinda is. Anyway, I have about a sixty day window to finish this, so the pacing is going to be a bit rushed.

About the length...I just couldn't find a way to break it into smaller bits--it all just felt like one chapter to me. Would you believe that it was originally _twice_ as long? Maybe someday when I have the time I can come back and do a second edit and break it into chapters. I don't think the next chapter will be so bulky, but it has to be bigger than the first if I hope to finish this in time. I just want to get this story out of my head! It's getting crowded in here!

(1) Have you SEEN the DC comic version of Starfire? Good lawd, you could grate cheese on her abs! No, seriously, Google Image her.

(2) Raven is making a joke about romantic comedies. When she talks about coffee she is clearly giving away that all her information on relationships come from television, thus the joke. Much like my beta, Starfire totally didn't get it but I loved the tree line, so I kept it in.

(3) David Cain is impossible to take by surprise. Seriously, for those of you that aren't DC comic fans, Wiki this guy. Responsible for such works of art as Cassandra Cain and Lady Shiva, he's plain scary. It's like what would happen if Batman turned evil.

(4) Batman apparently did fight vampires. Robin says so to Babs and Comish on separate occasions in Batgirl: Year One. I'm not sure if he was joking or not, but it's easy enough to believe. That Batman has all the fun, eh?

(5) Towards the end of Season Two, Beast Boy insists that he'll make Raven laugh someday. I've always been amused by the idea that one day Beast Boy might just say something that catches her off guard. As corny as he usually is, it's just something cool of him to aim for.

(6) It's hard to tell the passage of time between the episodes: there were sevens days between the airing of Haunted (Robin's hallucination earlier) and Spellbound (Malchior emerging from the book and seducing Raven) although it doesn't necessarily mean anything. I figure it doesn't matter. The timeline is going to be changed because the continuity is changed. I figured how can Raven get engrossed in a book she could never get the time to read? I'd already implied that Starfire was monopolizing Raven's time so it shouldn't be that difficult to imagine.

(7) I'm not sure if Saint George was a real person or not. While I dabble in history, it is certainly not my specialty. If he was, he was an Imperial Guard of the Roman empire, I think (or did I make that up and convince myself I read it somewhere?). His most famous memory, of course is Saint George and the Dragon, which is pretty much the original dragon tale: stout and true, he slays the dragon and saves the princess that was held hostage. It's based on even older Eastern folklore, from what I understand, but just about every Western dragon tale until modern stories pretty much reflect the exact same tale. Cyborg was clever to choose a character pretty much destined to win against a dragon, but how Beast Boy got the reference and played along, we'll never know. Maybe he didn't. Everybody knows how dragon stories are supposed to play out, after all, but since I've already taken liberties with the character, I thought I'd throw in the fact that Beast Boy gets semi-obscure references to dragon-slaying because he thinks dragons are cool. I hope that's plausible.


End file.
